Who Killed Joe Camel?

Almost 15 years ago in November of 1998, the Federal Trade Commission (FTC) began the Clinton Administration's last assault on Joe Camel, an advertising character created and then owned by RJR Nabisco Holdings Corporation (RJR), contending that RJR was using the character to lure young smokers.  The FTC was seeking to force RJR to sign an order banning the company from using Joe Camel in any future cigarette advertisements.  RJR, involved in a lawsuit and under pressure from Congress and other "pubic interest" groups, had already voluntarily ended its use of Joe Camel in July of 1997.  Still, the FTC continued to kick Joe Camel in the head afer he was down.  Such can be the power and character of some federal agencies and bureaus.  

Joe Camel, RIP, July 12, 1997 

It has been asked, "Who is next, Ronald McDonald?" Can any survive such an attack? It seemed to me at the time that consequences for freedom of speech were involved, or perhaps for freedom of choice. Yet, much can be done in the name of "protecting" the children or some other group. What might truly motivate those in positions of power? Think about it. 

Hawaii Bar and Bone Fish Exam

By February 2012, I'd been studying on-and-off for about 6 months to take the Hawaii Bar Exam.  I'd gotten a copy of Hawaii Criminal Code, Evidence Rules, Civil Rules, Criminal Rules and down-loaded various subjects as I thought of them to review.
The real effort began about Thanksgiving of 2011, when an on-line bar refresher course was available to me--  the Kaplan Bar Review (Hawaii).  Wow!  Things have changed since I last studied for the Arizona Bar Exam (1983), studying out of one large book.  In short, there is now no limit to how much reading, watching, listening, testing, reviewing and practice an applicant can do to prepare for a bar exam.  The written materials came in two or three big boxes.

 
The first real order of business became to thin out the materials to what I'd realistically be able to (or want to) study.  More than half the volumes had to be thrown away, including practice exams.  On-line practice tests were to be taken only until I understood how to answer them and obtain a better than 50% result.  There would simply not be enough time to do everything. 

The remaining materials had to be put into an order that would show progress-- namely, lists that could be measured, completed and checked off.  The key would be to stay optimistic by seeing results.  Otherwise, sitting before a computer or book for hours upon hours, day after day, week after week, would be discouraging.

 

In short-- step by step, page by page, paragraph by paragraph, video by video--  each goal was checked off. Finally, I would visually see that I'd completed not everything, but what I reasonably believed could be achieved.

My advice to younger, future applicants-- don't try to read and do everything  possible.  Just study and memorize enough to reach your comfortable saturation point.  Beyond that, you'll only get discouraged.  Treat the materials as if you're preparing one of the most important two-day jury trials you'll ever have in your career.  That's workable.  That's do-able.

Well, the process worked.  I took the February 2012 Hawaii Bar Exam along with about 180 other applicants.  About 98% of the others were younger than I.  A good group of people.  After two full days, the test was over.  (In May I was notified that I had passed the exam, and could be admitted at a ceremony in June, which I attended in Honolulu and was sworn in).  I'm thinking that, having sat and passed the Washington State Bar Exam (1974), Arizona Bar Exam (1983), and now Hawaii (2012), there probably won't be a fourth effort.  This is enough.

Following the taking of the exam, I took a little time to go fly fishing for Bone Fish.  While studying for the examination, I'd relaxed by studying Bone Fish and flies.  It looks like I'd organized the Bone Fish subject the same way as all the Hawaii legal subjects-- 

On Writing

In the February 2013 Edition of "Arizona Attorney," the official journal of the State Bar of Arizona, there is an excellent article titled "Writing Maketh an Exact Man" written by Attorney Robert J. McWhirter.  Here are excerpts which I found particular good--

Preparation before writing is important--

If I had eight hours to chop down a tree, I'd spend six hours sharpening my ax. -- Abraham Lincoln.

The purpose of the brief--

The secret ambition of every brief should be to spare the judge the necessity of engaging in any work, mental or physical. -- Mortimer Levitan

Brevity and clarity are essential in a well-written legal brief--

A judge who realizes that a brief is wordy will skim it; one who finds a brief terse and concise will read every word. -- U.S. Supreme Court Justice Scalia and Bryan Garner

Write well--

Be clear, so the audience understands what is being said.
Be interesting, so the audience will want to listen to what is being said.
Be persuasive, so the audience will agree with what is being said.  -- Cicero

The issue--

You need to give the court a reason you should win that the judge could explain in a sentence or two to a non-lawyer friend.  U.S. Supreme Court Justice Scalia and Bryan Garner

The conclusion--

The conclusion in a brief is not just the major thing.  It's the only thing.  -- Judge Ruggero J. Aldisert. 

Camping in Capitol State Forest

A couple of weeks ago our family decided to spend a weekend camping together in the Capitol State Forest near Olympia, the capitol of Washington State.  It is multi-use Washington State Department of Natural Resources land open to the public since 1955.  It's a working forest with active timber harvests throughout the year.  There is hiking, camping and hunting.  The northern half of the forest is also open to motorized off-road vehicles, while the southern half is open to horseback riding.  800,000 people visit the forest each year. 

While not everybody could make the trip, there's something about getting family together to spend some time in the woods and sit around the campfire.  There are no televisions, no radios, no computers, no cell phones, no electricity.  It's a time to just be family and talk. 

There is a lot of logging in the forest, but those plats are re-planted.  The campsite we picked was nestled in the tall trees next to a little stream.  But, the stream must be pretty powerful during the winter-- look at the size of the root ball on that fallen tree by the stream. 

This is a picture of a crayfish found in the stream.  We put it in a potato chip bag long enough to take its picture, then we put it back in the stream.  One of its claws was just growing back.  The stream had some minnows, but no fish of catching size.

One of the things I wanted to do was make a pot of strew over an open fire, sort of a joint effort.  Check out the cutting board made of a cedar plank.  When my kids were little we'd go camping and use sticks to eat beans out of cans heated over the fire.  That was intended to be a lesson in resourcefulness.  Compared to that, this stew was top cuisine.  That's daughter Sheila cutting the potatoes



There's something comforting about putting logs on a campfire and staring at the flames and embers.  It must go back tens of thousands of years.  It can be soothing.  Some of the wood was damp.  Somebody once said "Whoever believes 'where there is smoke, there is fire' has never tried starting a campfire."  We bought a few dry logs back towards town and that made all the difference.














That's son Scott setting up the chess board.  Can you beat that arrangement?  Even the moths wanted to get into the game.

The Capitol State Forest is pretty big.  To the east out across the valley you could see the Cascade Mountains.  To the north you could see the Olympic Mountains on the peninsula.  (Click on the lower map above for detail).

While we may not camp every weekend, and not every year, to go camping once in a great while is good for the family and good for the soul.  It also creates memories.  That's granddaughter Dani using a spoon instead of a stick. 

Denver Road Trip

"Rugged Individualism" is more than a myth.  It's something buried deep within our DNA, and if we're lucky we get to experience it once in a while.  It's related to challenge, stamina, adventure, self-awareness, self-reliance, survival and perseverance-- and all those things that comprise living.  It's not so much a goal or posture, but a glimpse at our inner potential.  Sure, there are ingredients of fantasy, day-dreaming, denial and rebellion-- but it's more a reaffirmation that we're not necessarily dead yet.   Without self-imposed tests, how can we truly measure our own ability?  Surely not by somebody else's standard. At least that's what I believe. 

So, a buddy (JJ) and I decided to go on a motorcycle ride from Seattle to Denver and back-- not the world's greatest or most daring and dangerous feat, but an adventure nevertheless.  If not at least that, then what?  If you ride, you know what I mean. 

We decided to  load up and take almost two weeks and head out for Denver.  We made the round trip, not staying in a motel or hotel once (although we did spend a couple of nights with friends).  It was mostly ride, fill up the tank, ride, eat, fill up the tank, find a campsite, etc.  Perfect!  That's JJ with the red bike. 

A week earlier, another buddy (Jim) had ridden from Reno to Minneapolis for a vitamin and nutrition convention, and he arranged to meet JJ and I just west of Denver. So, that made three of us. That's Jim with the black bike and all the gear on it.

JJ and I road to Pendleton, Oregon, the first night and then on to Twin Falls, Idaho, by the next evening. We stopped in Salt Lake (worst highway traffic on the whole trip). The third night was in Grand Junction, Colorado, and we met Jim the next morning in Rifle, west of Denver. That's the capitol building in Denver. After resting in Denver, it was on to Boulder and Estes Park in the Rockies.

There were broken kickstands, cops and traffic stops, lost chaps and shirts, bugs and animals.  The best story comes from riding down Granby Pass in the Rockies-- lots of herds of elk.  Anyway, Jim got stopped inside the National Park for speeding (and four other potential traffic infractions and one possible crime)-- but somehow he talked his way into a "warning" and we took off.  We then saw that Jim's headlamp was out.  It was getting dark and we needed a place to stay, but the best chance was 100 miles down the road.  So, JJ went ahead through the dark, followed by Jim without a headlamp, and then me.  Part of the way there was a pickup truck in front of us which tapped its brakes whenever elk and deer ran across the road-- and there were hundreds.  That was living!

We finally got into town and found we could stay in the city park if we first reported in with the sheriff.  The deputy assured us the sprinklers were done for the night, but they weren't.  We had to cover one with the picnic table and another with a garbage can.   

By then, Jim had been on the road about three weeks. No matter how much sun screen you apply, the road and wind will wear out your skin. That's Jim's ear. There's nothing quite like the elements to make you feel alive. We went on up to Rawlings, Wyoming. (Remind me to tell you about a murder charge I defended for Turtle Smith, who fled to Rawlings with a new notch carved in the grips of his revolver. The Wyoming State Penitentiary is in Rawlings, so maybe he was familiar with the town).




Next destination was Grand Tetons National Park and then on to Yellowstone National Park, to stay in Livingston, Montana, where Jim lived for seven years in the 1980's.  (Remind his cousin to tell us how the bullet hole got in the front door of that house).  That's the arch at the north exit of Yellowstone, south of Livingston.

We stayed with a friend in Wisdom, Montana, in the "Big Hole" and saw the 1877 Big Hole Battlefield, which was actually the site of a massacre of encamped Nez Perce Indians, fleeing the Army and hoping to reach Canada.  Chief Joseph led the survivors of his tribe away, but he soon surrendered and said  "I fight no more forever."  The site is a memorial to the slain men, women and many children.  See my earlier post about Levi McCormack. 

 

Wisdom is really small-- around 100 people-- but of those people, there was a famous guy living there named Carl Miles, who invented some Harley Davidson add-on parts, including the "Heel Guard."   That's me with him after I bought one of his parts and installed it (so I could eliminate my heel shifter).  I'm the one with the light beard.

It could be asked "Is that all?"  No, there was much, much more, but you had to be there.  These little self-imposed adventures aren't for everybody.  But, now and again it's just what the doctor ordered.  There you are, riding along in the sun and wind and rain and dust, in the moment.  And then you drift off into deep thought.  And then you get stung by a bee flying up your pant leg, back into the moment.  And then you start over again.  It was perfect!  Does that make sense?

 



Porridge, Gruel, Grits and Lawyers

Porridge is a dish made by boiling rolled, crushed, or steel cut oats (or other cereal meals) in water or milk. It is usually served hot in a bowl or dish. Porridge is usually eaten as a breakfast dish, often with the addition of butter, sugar or milk.
Porridge was commonly used as prison food for inmates in England. Some call porridge "oatmeal." Oatmeal has a long history in Scottish culinary tradition because oats are better suited than wheat to Scotland's short wet growing season.

Gruel is a thinner version of porridge. It is made from some type of cereal (oats, wheat, rye flour or rice) usually boiled in water. It is similar to porridge, but more often drunk than eaten. It has a very thin consistency. Gruel consumption has traditionally been associated with poverty.

Grits consists of coarsely ground corn, usually prepared by adding one part grits to two-to-three parts boiling water and seasoned with salt, sugar or butter. Grits is common in the Southern United States, mainly eaten at breakfast. Grits can also be fried in a pan with vegetable oil, butter, or bacon grease.

Porridge can be found in popular literature. The Grimm Brothers,Wilhelm (1786 – 1859) and Jacob (1785 – 1863), were German linguists and researchers who collected old folk tales and published several collections of fairy tales, called Grimm's Fairy Tales. Jacob Grimm was also a lawyer.

There's a short story called "Sweet Porridge" by the Brothers Grimm:

There was a poor little girl who lived with her mother and they had nothing to eat. The girl went into the forest and met an old woman who gave her a little pot. When the little girl said "Cook, little pot, cook," the pot would cook sweet porridge. The pot stopped cooking porridge when the girl said "Stop, little pot." The girl took the pot home to her mother and now they were free to eat sweet porridge as often as they chose. One time when the girl went out, and her mother said "Cook, little pot, cook." The mom ate until she was satisfied but did not know the words to stop the pot from cooking. The pot kept on cooking until the little pot overflowed and the kitchen and whole house were full. The porridge overflowed into the street and into the other houses. The little girl finally came home and said "Stop, little pot," and the pot stopped cooking porridge, but whoever wished to return to the town had to eat his way back.

Just about everybody probably knows the story of "Goldilocks and The Three Bears."

There was a little girl named Goldilocks who went for a walk in the forest. She came upon a house owned by the Three Bears (Papa, Mama and Baby Bear) and walked right in. On the kitchen table there were three bowls of porridge. Goldilocks was hungry and tasted the porridge from the first bowl, which was too hot. The second bowl was too cold, but the last bowl of porridge was “just right.” She also tested the three chairs (breaking the smallest) and the three beds (falling asleep in Baby Bear’s bed, which was “just right”). The Three Bears came home and started investigating. Goldilocks woke up, saw the Three Bears and screamed "Help!" Goldilocks jumped up, ran out of the house and ran away into the forest. She never returned to the home of the three bears.
These stories are unusual, even for a lawyer-- Were they told to keep one's mind off of hunger? Why were little girls frequently wandering off into the forrest? Were these cereal meals always related to stories of hunger, poverty and subtle danger? Why are the endings so abrupt? What ever became of the little girls?

Yet, more recent popular "literature" continues to deal with these cereals and related themes.

Recall the 1992 movie titled "My Cousin Vinny," in which grits showed up. Vinny Gambini (played by Joe Pesci) was an inexperienced, loudmouth New York lawyer not accustomed to Southern rules and manners, who went to Alabama to defend two young men wrongly accused of murder while on their way back to college--

Vinny Gambini: You tesitfied earlier that you saw the boys go into the store, and you had just begun to cook your breakfast and you were just getting ready to eat when you heard the shot. Witness: That's right. Vinny Gambini: You remember what you had? Witness: Eggs and grits.Vinny Gambini: Eggs and grits. I like grits, too. How do you cook your grits? Do you like them regular, creamy or al dente? Instant grits? Witness: No self respectin' Southerner uses instant grits. I take pride in my grits. Vinny Gambini: So, how could it take you 5 minutes to cook your grits when it takes the entire grit-eating world 20 minutes? Witness: I don't know, I'm a fast cook I guess. Vinny Gambini: Are we to believe that boiling water soaks into a grit faster in your kitchen than anywhere else on the face of the earth? The laws of physics cease to exist on top of your stove? Were these magic grits? Did you buy them from the same guy who sold Jack his beanstalk beans?

Such is the reasonable connection between porridge, gruel, grits, danger, crimes, prison and lawyers.