Who Killed Joe Camel?

Almost 15 years ago in November of 1998, the Federal Trade Commission (FTC) began the Clinton Administration's last assault on Joe Camel, an advertising character created and then owned by RJR Nabisco Holdings Corporation (RJR), contending that RJR was using the character to lure young smokers.  The FTC was seeking to force RJR to sign an order banning the company from using Joe Camel in any future cigarette advertisements.  RJR, involved in a lawsuit and under pressure from Congress and other "pubic interest" groups, had already voluntarily ended its use of Joe Camel in July of 1997.  Still, the FTC continued to kick Joe Camel in the head afer he was down.  Such can be the power and character of some federal agencies and bureaus.  

Joe Camel, RIP, July 12, 1997 

It has been asked, "Who is next, Ronald McDonald?" Can any survive such an attack? It seemed to me at the time that consequences for freedom of speech were involved, or perhaps for freedom of choice. Yet, much can be done in the name of "protecting" the children or some other group. What might truly motivate those in positions of power? Think about it. 

Porridge, Gruel, Grits and Lawyers

Porridge is a dish made by boiling rolled, crushed, or steel cut oats (or other cereal meals) in water or milk. It is usually served hot in a bowl or dish. Porridge is usually eaten as a breakfast dish, often with the addition of butter, sugar or milk.
Porridge was commonly used as prison food for inmates in England. Some call porridge "oatmeal." Oatmeal has a long history in Scottish culinary tradition because oats are better suited than wheat to Scotland's short wet growing season.

Gruel is a thinner version of porridge. It is made from some type of cereal (oats, wheat, rye flour or rice) usually boiled in water. It is similar to porridge, but more often drunk than eaten. It has a very thin consistency. Gruel consumption has traditionally been associated with poverty.

Grits consists of coarsely ground corn, usually prepared by adding one part grits to two-to-three parts boiling water and seasoned with salt, sugar or butter. Grits is common in the Southern United States, mainly eaten at breakfast. Grits can also be fried in a pan with vegetable oil, butter, or bacon grease.

Porridge can be found in popular literature. The Grimm Brothers,Wilhelm (1786 – 1859) and Jacob (1785 – 1863), were German linguists and researchers who collected old folk tales and published several collections of fairy tales, called Grimm's Fairy Tales. Jacob Grimm was also a lawyer.

There's a short story called "Sweet Porridge" by the Brothers Grimm:

There was a poor little girl who lived with her mother and they had nothing to eat. The girl went into the forest and met an old woman who gave her a little pot. When the little girl said "Cook, little pot, cook," the pot would cook sweet porridge. The pot stopped cooking porridge when the girl said "Stop, little pot." The girl took the pot home to her mother and now they were free to eat sweet porridge as often as they chose. One time when the girl went out, and her mother said "Cook, little pot, cook." The mom ate until she was satisfied but did not know the words to stop the pot from cooking. The pot kept on cooking until the little pot overflowed and the kitchen and whole house were full. The porridge overflowed into the street and into the other houses. The little girl finally came home and said "Stop, little pot," and the pot stopped cooking porridge, but whoever wished to return to the town had to eat his way back.

Just about everybody probably knows the story of "Goldilocks and The Three Bears."

There was a little girl named Goldilocks who went for a walk in the forest. She came upon a house owned by the Three Bears (Papa, Mama and Baby Bear) and walked right in. On the kitchen table there were three bowls of porridge. Goldilocks was hungry and tasted the porridge from the first bowl, which was too hot. The second bowl was too cold, but the last bowl of porridge was “just right.” She also tested the three chairs (breaking the smallest) and the three beds (falling asleep in Baby Bear’s bed, which was “just right”). The Three Bears came home and started investigating. Goldilocks woke up, saw the Three Bears and screamed "Help!" Goldilocks jumped up, ran out of the house and ran away into the forest. She never returned to the home of the three bears.
These stories are unusual, even for a lawyer-- Were they told to keep one's mind off of hunger? Why were little girls frequently wandering off into the forrest? Were these cereal meals always related to stories of hunger, poverty and subtle danger? Why are the endings so abrupt? What ever became of the little girls?

Yet, more recent popular "literature" continues to deal with these cereals and related themes.

Recall the 1992 movie titled "My Cousin Vinny," in which grits showed up. Vinny Gambini (played by Joe Pesci) was an inexperienced, loudmouth New York lawyer not accustomed to Southern rules and manners, who went to Alabama to defend two young men wrongly accused of murder while on their way back to college--

Vinny Gambini: You tesitfied earlier that you saw the boys go into the store, and you had just begun to cook your breakfast and you were just getting ready to eat when you heard the shot. Witness: That's right. Vinny Gambini: You remember what you had? Witness: Eggs and grits.Vinny Gambini: Eggs and grits. I like grits, too. How do you cook your grits? Do you like them regular, creamy or al dente? Instant grits? Witness: No self respectin' Southerner uses instant grits. I take pride in my grits. Vinny Gambini: So, how could it take you 5 minutes to cook your grits when it takes the entire grit-eating world 20 minutes? Witness: I don't know, I'm a fast cook I guess. Vinny Gambini: Are we to believe that boiling water soaks into a grit faster in your kitchen than anywhere else on the face of the earth? The laws of physics cease to exist on top of your stove? Were these magic grits? Did you buy them from the same guy who sold Jack his beanstalk beans?

Such is the reasonable connection between porridge, gruel, grits, danger, crimes, prison and lawyers.

Herbs, Neon and Other Spices

Neon signs make food taste better, and so do candles. Herbs help, too, along with the smells of butter, melted animal fat and carbon. So, the best tasting food is seasoned with herbs and is eaten under the glow of a neon sign with a small flame flickering on the table. Mmm..... The Good Life!

A walk through Seattle's Pike Place Market can get a guy motivated to learn something about food. No harm in learning something new.

















I decided a good way to learn about herbs was to grow some. I got some from the local hardware store between the Chevron station and McDonald's. Friends also have good suggestions.

These are some of the planters containing the growing herbs.















Basically, you can just clip a few leaves and stuff them between a couple of pieces of whole wheat bread-- toasted and buttered. There's more to it than that, but it's a start.

The herbs I'm growing this spring and summer-- cilantro, parsley, chives (onion and garlic tasting), sage, oregano, rosemary, thyme, spearmint and basil. Some grow better than others, aphids like some and avoid others, some grow fast but others slow, etc., etc. It's a learning project.

Here are my chives, rosemary, basil, cilantro, spearmint and sage--












































































Before this little project, the only spices I knew were salt, pepper, butter, ketchup, mustard, garlic, onion, Bar-B-Q sauce, Tabasco, cinnamon, cream and sugar. You can do a lot with those. Still, there's always more to learn about spices and herbs, and an easy way to do it is to plant them and water them. Plus, a guy can really begin to appreciate the knowledge and use of herbs by others.

Grill Cooking

My friend knows a lot about healthy cooking with fresh vegetables and how to spice up a meal.



So we went to the local supermarket to put some things together on the grill. I took my camera to photo-document some of the foods. Look at the colors of those vegetables. What a display!

There's also a small local fish market near the Everett waterfront. We bought some fresh oysters for grilling. I wanted to buy a new oyster knife rather than use a screw driver again. Next time I think I'll open the oysters and put them on the grill, rather than wait for the heat to open them.

We also got some tiger schrimp for grilling with some butter and garlic. Mmmmm....good.













This silver salmon was given to me by Clayton, who started me fishing this season. The Coke can is in there to show the size of that fish! I just put it on a boat of aluminum foil and it barely squeezed in under the hood of the grill-- no spices, no butter, no garnish. It was great!















There is other grilling that I've done and have planned this summer. We even went to the movie about Julia Child and I've been inspired to do something other than always drive through McDonald's, although there's a time and place for everything.

There are some U-Pick blueberry fields around here, and the berries taste real good with Bar-B-Q chicken.

Foolproof Fish Cooking

Surely there are many more ways to cook trout, but these are the only three that I know and use-- frying, baking and grilling.

Frying... dust the trout with flour and pepper and put in a skillet with a little hot oil. Fry until it flakes and doesn't look raw. Pretty easy. Don't forget to turn the fish over.










Baking...make an aluminum foil boat and set the trout inside with some Italian salad dressing and maybe some chopped up vegetables to look good. Close it up and bake. When in doubt, cook a little longer. Not too hard to do.










Grilling... put the fish on the grill and cook. You might rest it on a piece of aluminum foil. Cook until it is flaky and it doesn't look raw. Not too tough. I don't have any pictures of grilled fish.











The last time we used the outdoor grill was in March 2009. We found some rodent droppings inside the grill on the fake rocks. (It is...er... it was a natural gas grill). The animal must have gotten in through one of the rust holes. I decided it was time to get rid of it, so we did. It hasn't been replaced since fishing season started. Here's a picture of the hamburgers we went ahead and cooked on the grill one last time for old time's sake. (Everybody is still alive). That grill got a lot of use.

Add something else. Unless you are just going to eat fish, you might add something else, like a piece of bread or some healthy vegetables like these. Save room for ice cream.